I love being the centre of attention. In fact, when I told my sister one of our wedding surprises she said, "oh of course! Didn't expect anything less! Always the centre of attention!' Ask my best friend and she would tell you the story of drama audition when I was dancing around a hall pretending to be a cat and reciting T.S Eliot.
It is true. I will agree with both of my ladies and say yes I have never been one to shy away from the lime light. However, this wedding malarkey is shaking my confidence. There is no reciting poetry, or pretending to be a cat. It is time to show how I am truly feeling. When I stand centre stage at the wedding there can't be any pretending its just me as I am, will I be enough?
Every wedding I go to you are there to see the bride. Everyone wants to see the bride. What will she wear? How will she have hair? I don't want to disappoint! I am terrified of disappointing! Every pimple that appears, even if it is under the skin I panic... running to the bathroom to cover it in toothpaste! Without fail my retainer is in my mouth from 21:00 onwards. I have even put faith in a ridiculous Italian commercial and bought Blanc X in an attempt to whiten my teeth!
The dress, the hair, the makeup, the jewellery, even the stick on bra and stomach holding in panties! I am preening and waxing, reforming and power walking. I feel like I have done more preparation for this way then for the sportive I did last year! 75 mile bike ride is a piece of cake compared to this.
The scrutiny is petrifying, and I haven't even mentioned my hands yet! Manicures, cuticle cuts and moisturising every second of every day. How many people will be taking note of my nail shape, my polish, the softness of my skin. Everyone will be looking at my left hand. And then there are my lips... I must have used four-five tubs of LUSH lip balm and the wedding is still 18 days away.
Before going to bed there is the parade of the creams! Eye cream, wrinkle cream, lip cream, foot cream, hand cream, nail cream, hair cream! How much does a girl need to do to impress! ... Apparently, when your the bride... a lot!
So on the day... please don't judge me.